7/23/09

I feel better now

Yeah sorry. Mood Swings. rofl. Anyways, I am learning cello. It's weird cuz i just skipped from 6th grade level to 9th grade level... this shit is hard. I am working on a cover of I Don't Care by Apocalyptica on cello, Suicide and Redemption by Metallica, and Money by Pink Floyd on guitar. So hopefully lots of videos on the way.

Video of The Day:
Duality by Slipknot

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my times elapsed
Now all I do is live with so much fate

I wished for this, I bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact
You cannot kill what you did not create

I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise

I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice

7/22/09

My Summer

Cross Country

Middle School: 6th grade: lots of friends, run half a mile to a mile, not really competetive, really fun. 7th grade: a bit harder, run around 1 to 2 miles, lots of friends to hang around with, pick on the 6th graders a little. 8th grade: 2 to 3 miles, pretty hard, moderatly competetive, but still fun and pleasent to be on the team.

High School: I am like.. the only freshman on the team. I went from running 2 or 3 miles to even up to 8 sometimes. And practice is every day. The scheduale is very confusing and the practice is at different times and locations and they are always changing it. I try to keep up with all the olderkids, but i epic fail and run to hard and almost throw up, then i get left behind and i don't know the trail and when i finally get back, I get told that i need to run harder. Then the next 2 days, I am sore and miserable, then I get yelled at for being tired all the time.

Clothes

As you probably know, I dress a mix between "Scene" (Dressing like and emo but not cutting myself) and "Metalhead" (Spikey wristbands, metal T-shirts). The places I buy my clothes (Hot Topic and The Cage) are very expensive places to buy clothes. The T-shirts are $15.00 - $25.00. I acknowledge that I can't buy all my shirts there. So I ask my mom to take me to K-Mart, Penny's, etc. She does. I go there, and I pick out 3 of 4 $8.00 - $12.00 shirts that i find reasonable and don't look too bad, while still maintaining my style of clothing. My mom does not like them. She brings up her paranoia about skulls. She says old people won't understand and think I am disturbed and I will be a serial killer and they will hate me and think badly of me, when 5 minuetes ago, she was asking me why i cared so much about what people think of me, and telling me that i should not care what people think and be myself. Yet when I try to be myself, She says people will think badly of me. I am also going to be in High School this year, and it's important to me to look good and look like myself. She just wants me to wear $5.00 generic Nike shirts and basketball shorts and look like some douche-bag.. And when I try to argue, she starts crying and talks about how much she sacrifices for me. I apreciate all she does, but I am not going to sacrifice everything I live for (music, the emo and metalhead culture). I know she does that for me, but she already lived her life in high school. I am not going to give up mine just because she's putting the guilt trip on me. Then I turn all depressed and I act like a douche-fag to everyone and everyone hates me and I go sit and cry in my emo corner.

My Life


My daily scheduale: Wake up (10:30AM), shower, eat Corn Pops/waffles, play Xbox until lunch, eat lunch, do some shit mom asks me to, play some more Xbox, go on a walk, play some more Xbox until dinner, eat dinner, argue with mom, mom goes upstairs and ignores me, I get on the computer until it's dark, them I take another walk, talk on the phone with Meredith for an hour or two, take a shower, go to bed. 2 or 3 times a week, I hang out with Meredith, which is the most exiting thing i've done all summer, besides go to summer camp for a week and a half.

Fun summer, eh? I bet you are jealous of my awesome life, and you wish you could be me.





Love,

7/20/09

My Mood Today

Another shitty-ass day. There are no words to describe my mood, so i will use music to describe it. Please enjoy these beautiful and inspirational songs. Thanks :)












So.. yeah. Fuck today as well as yesterday.

Love,

7/19/09

Worst Freaking Day In The World

So... Today was the family Reunion. The 9-hour family reunion. The 9-hour family reunion with a bunch of strangers and no kids my age, only old people and 10 kids 5 and under. So first let me tell you something interesting about myself. Little kids hate me. I don't know why; i have never done anything to a little kid that would make them hate me. They just come up to me, kick me, punch me, insulet me, etc. When i tell them to stop, i get angry looks from the parents. When the little kids continue, and when i ask the parents to make their kids stop, they don't. I guess parents hate me, also. But yeah.. that happened to me all day... 9 hours. No one to talk to.. Just sat in the corner with my iPod. and Meredith like.. died. She went canoeing and she said she would be back in like.. 3 hours, but it has been 7.. I just hope her cell phone died.. So yeah... fuck today.

Video of the Day
People = Shit by Slipknot



So.. it is 1 A.M. and I have nothing to do..

I have not posted in a while, so here are some random, pointless surveys that no one will read and no one cares about that i will copy and paste and waste my time doing to convince myself that someone will read it and care what my opinions are and what i think to make myself feel better about my personal being. So here goes.

Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Height: 5'7 or so. 5'8 maybe
Profession: Music
Relationship Status: Taken
What's Your Sign?: Tarus
Any Siblings?: no
Shoe size: around 11
Where were you born?: Lol-isville
Innie or Outie: innie
Righty or Lefty?: right
Any pets?: yes, dog. Ember. female german shepard mix.
What month were you born in?: May

Favorite Color: Black
Favorite Car: Dodge Viper
Favorite Movie: Dawn of the Dead
Favorite Hobby: Music
Favorite Song/Singer: Song: I Don't Care by Apoctaliptica feat. Three Days Grace Singer: Corey Taylor
Favorite Book/Author: Book: The Devil's Hand Author: Ross
Favorite School Subject: Music/Technology
Favorite Vacation Destination: Florida. Beach.
Favorite Food: Spaghetti!
Favorite Restaurant: lol.. O'charley;s
Favorite Animal: Wolves
Favorite Store: Hot Topic
Favorite Celebrity : Corey Taylor
Favorite Childhood Friend: Jody
Favorite Childhood Memory: learning to play piano
Favorite Baby Name: either Summer or Camryn
Favorite Person In Your Life: myself
Favorite Facebook Application : lol. Video
Favorite Possession: Music
Mall Store: Hot Topic
Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: McDonalds
Comedian: ..Jeff Dunham
Sandlot or Little Rascals: wat?
Favorite Holiday: Halloween
Favorite Number: 23
Favorite Hard Candy: butterscotch
Favorite Month: Occtober
Favorite Flower: uh
Favorite Ice Cream: chocolate
Favorite Smell: new electronics
Favorite Drink: chocolate milk or hot chocolate
Favorite Cartoon Character: spongebob
Favourite kind of pants: black skinnyjeans

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Big Mac or Whopper: Big Mac without Sauce
Coke or Pepsi : Pepsi
Beer or Wine: Beer
Coffee or Tea: Tea
Apple Juice or O.J.: OJ
Facebook or MySpace: Facebook
Summer or Winter: Summer
Windows or Mac: Windows... Mac blows big black balls....... (lol alliteration)
Cats or Dogs: Dogs
Boxers or Briefs: Boxers
Rain or Shine : Rain
Chips or Popcorn: Potato Chips! (Docter R.)
Salty or Sweet: Sweet
Plane or Boat: I'M ON A BOAT
Morning or Night: Night time FTW!
Movie or Play: night = play day = movie. i guess i perfer plays over movies
Walk or Drive: walk by pantera
Money or Love: both, please
Breakfast or Dinner: breakfast
Forgiveness or Revenge: revenge!
Paint or Wallpaper: paint
House or Apartment: house
Truth or Dare: depends if i with perverted people or not. if not, dare.
Contacts or Glasses: glasses, if i needed them
Root beer or Dr. Pepper: fukkin root beer!
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: jello... that would be tight
Skiing or Boarding: skiing. on snow.
Silver or Gold: silver
Diamond or pearl: diomond
Sunset or Sunrise: sunset
Phone or in person: in person is always less akward
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: only
Indoor or Outdoor: outdoor at night, indoor during day.

Have Any Pets: yes, Ember, German Shepard Mix
Have Any Children: no
Smoke: no
Drink: no
Exercise: run
Spend Your Life On Facebook: no
Play On A Sports Team: cross country team
Belong To Any Organizations: no
Love Your Job: yeah
Like To Cook: breakfast.
Play An Instrument: you dont even want to start with that.
Sing: kinda
Dance: NO
Speak Multiple Languages: no
Ice Skate: pretty fun
Swim: yeah
Paint: sometimes
Write: rarley
Ski: LOVE IT
Juggle: i wish
Do you wish you lived somewhere else?: california, flordia
Do you like roller coasters?: love em
Enjoy spending time with your Mother?: ehh...
Ever think about the price of gasoline?: yeah
Sleep with a fan on?: sometimes
Have a good handle on spelling?: mostley
Ever type "kik" instead of "lol?: rarley
Know how to play chess?: umm.. someone would need to refresh my memory
Ever miss being a little kid?: sometimes...
Want to get married?: sooner or later.

Stolen Anything: writing utensils.
Been Drunk Before Noon: no
Had Sex In A Public Place: no...
Got Caught Telling A Lie: yeah
Got A Speeding Ticket: no
Been Arrested: no
Littered: yeah
Fantasized About A Co-Worker: lol
Cheated On A Test: LOL what do YOU think?
Cheated In A Relationship: no
Failed A Class: no.. ive come close though
Screened Your Phone Calls: no
Eaten Food Off The Floor: yeah
Stuck Gum Under A Desk: yeah
Wished You Were Someone Else: yeah
Cried During A Movie: DUDE! when the dog dies, i cry so much! lol
Had A One Night Stand: NO
Had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?: no
Had your heart broken?: no
Had a good feeling about something?: yeah
Had a near death experience: no
Swam in freezing water: no
Jumped off a house: no
Been attacked?: verbally..
Bungee jumped: no
White water rafted: no
Pulled an all nighter?: yes
Surfed: no
Lied about your age: yes
Broken a bone?: no

Describe Yourself In One Word: Epic
Biggest Fear: Small crawly things
Biggest Mistake: uh
Your Proudest Accomplishment: Music
#1 Priority In Your Life: Music
Dream Job: Director of Photography
Causes You Believe In: Gay Marriage, enviroment things, and other liberal things
Special Talents: music, photography
Where Are You Right Now: at my computer
Where Would You Rather Be: at the pool
Famous Person You Want To Meet: Corey Taylor
Place To Visit Before You Die: Easter island
Song Played At Your Funeral: 100 Years by Five for Fighting, Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkle, Your Guardian Angel by the Red Jumpsuit people, and Goodnite covored by Evanessence/Amy Lee
What are you listening to right now: Tears Don't Fall by Bullet For My Valentine
What makes you happy: music, friends
What did you do yesterday: sit around
Won any awards?: medals from running
Are you a good driver?: i guess.. never tried really.
Gotten any speeding tickets?: no
Are you double jointed?: no
Last time you showered?: this morning
What's the last dream you remember?: i jumped off a cliff.. very fun.
What side of the bed do you sleep on?: lying down, right side facing the wall, back turned toward rooom
Do you dress up on Halloween?: i usually dress as a zombie guitar player, all in black with face make-up.
Are you outgoing or introverted?: uhh. im quiet most of the times, but i can be pretty outgoing when i wasnt to be
Do you ever wish you were famous?: every day
Have you ever done anything illegal?: downloading about 10 gigs of audio, countless movies, programs, games, etc.
Where will you be 12 hours from now?: sitting on my ass doing pointless surveys as i am right now.
Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?: oooh yes.
Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?: black
Is it easy for people to make you smile?: depends on the person.
Does anyone hate you for no reason?: who hates people for no reasons? people hate me for stupid reasons, but not no reasons.
Can you make yourself cry?: yes
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?: like... 9
Is your life simple or complicated?: when you look at it from someone else's viewpoint, very simple, but from mine, it is really complicated.
Are you taller than 5'4"?: yes, 5'7 and a half
What was your last place of employment?: uh
What color are your socks?: ...white?

Have you laughed until you cried: yeah
Have you found out who your true friends were: uh
Met someone who changed you: yeah
Kissed anyone on your friends list: yeah
What were you doing at midnight last night: listining to music.
Name something you CANNOT wait for: when i am uber goood at cello
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: um.... the myspace guy sent me a message when i first joined
What are you listening to right now: Afterlife by Avenged Sevenfold
What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: dont get so defensive about my beliefs
Last time you saw your father : today
Most visited webpage: Youtube.com/gorillazman57
Do people think you're weird?: oooh yes
Are any of your friends mad at you?: umm probably
What's one new thing you'd like to try?: flying
Would you get married before 19?: probably not
Can you crack your neck?: yes
Are you a bully? O_o: no
Do you type fast?: 60 WPM
Do you get mad easily?: yes
Do you like getting hyper?: no
Do you like making kids cry?: no :(
Who's your best friend?: umm no one at the moment..

First surgery : no
First piercing : no
First best friend : 1st day of preschool; jody
First sport you joined : soccer
First pet : hermit crabs
First vacation : florida
First concert : dont remember the band
First crush : lol some girl in 1st grade
Very FIRST memory? : i was in my crip, barley a year old, a bee landed in my bed, i reached out to touch it. i got stung and i cride really loud for a long time cuz i was mad at the bee for stinging me
First person you had a fight with?: i havnt been in a physical fight, but probably my parents
First time you rode a bike?: my old house down the big hill
First car: N/A
First person you slow danced with: all the dances ive been to have played shitty rap music and no slow songs to dance too...
If your house was on fire, first thing you'd grab?: depends on which is closer, ipod or dog.
First Movie You Saw: no idea
First time you were afraid: no idea
First song you remember listening to: no idea
First thing you'd do with 5 million dollars: i'd probably 3 million away, then buy a bunch of music shit for myself and other things for friends with the rest
First thing you notice when you look in the mirror?: myself
First impression of your bf/gf?: spontatious, weird (but in a good way. i like weird)

Your ex and You: fail
I am listening to: Coming Undone by KoRn
Maybe I should: do your mom
I love: music
I don't understand: creationists
I have lost my respect for: creationists
The meaning of my display name is: i am a fan of the band, gorillaz.
I will always be: a musician
Love seems to: epic fail.
I never ever want to lose: my mind
I get annoyed when: people are racist, homophobic, etc.
Do you like parties?: fo sho
Today I: swam
I wish: i could look in the future
Are you neat or sloppy?: too lazy to be neat
What kind of clothes do you like?: black, band shirts
Are you mad at someone?: eh
What do you do in your spare time: music, computers, video games.
Do you have any medical problems?: no
What kind of car do you have/want?: dodge viper
Do you like to read? What?: yes; fiction
Do you cook?: brekfast
Would you do drugs?: i mean.... i've thought about it.
Have you ever written a song?: countless instrumentals
Do you like poetry?: yes
Have you written poetry?: for school, not outside
Have you dated someone older than you?: no
How much older?: fail